A Question of Power

Unresolved emotional distress is a poison that dissolves a person from the inside out. The South African author Bessie Head was deeply hurt as a young adult by both her community and her ex-husband. During some pivotal period in her life she wrote the semi-autobiographical novel, A Question of Power, of a woman’s journey through a desolate mental breakdown and resolution of emotional distress.

The main character, Elizabeth, was born from an illegitimate biracial union during the time of Apartheid. As such, she was shunned by her family and community, and left to float through her young adult life as a foster child and orphan. Early on, Elizabeth abruptly marries an ex-convict gangster, because he is interested in Buddhism and other eastern philosophies. When he later proves perversely unfaithful to Elizabeth, she takes her son and leaves to Botswana.

“Woman were always complaining of being molested by her husband. There was also a white man who was his boy-friend” (p 19).

As an exile in the village of Motabeng, Elizabeth quickly descends into a restless internal world haunted by imaginary characters. In the first part of her mental breakdown, she confronts issues of self-talk and self-acceptance as a woman. The question that Head must have been asking of herself is, "Am I desirable given that my family and community rejected me and my husband cheated on me with other women and even men." Elizabeth imagines the characters Sello and Medusa, in order to confront everything she hates about herself. Through this she begins to understand and accept herself as “ordinary.”

“I shouldn’t mind if anyone told me I’m ugly because I know it’s true… Agh, I don’t really care if I look like the backside of a donkey…” (p 48).

In the second part of the novel, Elizabeth imagines the character Dan, who seemingly represents her ex-husband, in an unending display of perverse fornication. Sources of help and hope during this period are her job, son, friends, and doctor. Ultimately, near the end of the novel, Elizabeth conceives a new definition of love – her lever out of hell – that allows her to resolve her past relationship with her husband.

“Love is two people mutually feeding each other, not one living on the soul of the other like a ghoul!” (pp 197-198).

In closing, Head aggrandizes her triumph by likening Elizabeth to a prophet. However bold this is, it is most likely honest to her experience. Unfortunately, it is difficult to be certain of this and many other aspects of the novel, as it is interleaved with nuances of various religious, cultural, and gender topics. Many of the nuances are tucked between the lines and are just beyond reach.